Zeph's Bookish Rambles

I've been putting off reading another similar book until I do this because I can get characters mixed up in my mind. But I've been busy and so also put this off long enough that I'm not 100% sure I'm going to get all the names and such right. Oh well!

Things I Liked

The gender discussion Felix goes to was very familiar. I haven't ever been to a meeting for quite the same purpose, but I have been in a lot of similar queer support/advocacy groups. And the people mentioned at the meeting all gave me this “oh yeah, I know you” vibe and that was kind of fun.

Not learning Felix's deadname at any point, yay!

A whole lot of queer joy in general. The “guess who's a demiboy!” post was cute and fun. That search for words and communities that make you feel seen.

The acknowledgement that things have gotten better and that a lot of us didn't have the kind of language or opportunity to find and declare ourselves that kids have now, but also that things are still hard and kids still need our support. And also some things aren't generational and it's not that simple. If I was a teenager now with the same parents, I might have a better idea of who I am and be able to voice it to myself, but I still wouldn't have had support and would have had to wait till I was an adult to transition.

So I'm sure there are still kids in similar situations and everyone is struggling with something. But it's still great to see how much better the world around us has gotten and that maybe they're not dealing with all the same struggles. And it's hard not to be jealous of that sometimes. I feel like I'm finally getting to be the person I wanted to be when I was a teenager but I'm in my mid-30s so I'm also getting “you're too old to dress/wear your hair/act like that” from people around me sometimes. Whatever, we didn't all get to be kids when we were kids.

Things I Didn't Like (As Much)

The Declan romance had its problems, but so do all relationships. I feel like it was developing in a really nice and natural way and then all of a sudden at the end it shifted and everyone was talking about how toxic it was. Like, why? Because it was online? That's a bit messed up.

Because of a one-sided power dynamic because one of them knew who the other was and was lying? Yeah, I could see that a bit more. There were definitely opportunities earlier in the book where I thought it would have made sense for Felix to let Declan know and I wish he had taken them. But I don't think it's insurmountable.

Like sometimes in life you have multiple options and they could all be good but they could all also hurt someone. Sometimes you have to choose between two or more good things that will each require effort and struggle. I didn't like that suddenly the Declan route was toxic and they both knew it so they could split without much trouble and Ezra was just the one right obvious easy match.

I guess I either just needed more explanation of why his relationship with Declan was harmful or an acknowledgement that what they had could be really good but that it would require work they weren't prepared to do or something.

Overall

I really enjoyed living with this world and characters for a few days. Everything is well-developed and immersive, which is pretty much what I want most in a book. And the mix of very hard painful things that happen and the joy and optimism that outshine them made reading this a wonderful experience and helps me feel hopeful for my own life.

Good reading for a fellow demiguy (I hate the word demiboy, I'm too old to be any kind of boy) or anyone else really.